


Sleepless

by SweetDreamsDarling



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Barista Dan Howell, Coffee Shops, Fluff, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, Late Night Conversations, M/M, References to Depression, Sad Phil Lester, Strangers to Lovers, Teenagers, mild homophobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-05-29 08:50:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15069566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetDreamsDarling/pseuds/SweetDreamsDarling
Summary: Phil is at an all time low, when a new 24 hour coffee shop opens he's more than happy to stay the night there. While he's there, he meets the new night worker - Daniel.Phil needs a job. The coffee shop is hiring.But what about when unspoken feelings mix with sadness?And will it ever work between them?





	Sleepless

Phil Lester was a somewhat self-proclaimed coffee addict. He needed coffee at absurd times, and only drank certain brands. He loved his coffee more than most things in life, and living directly near a coffee shop certainly helped feed his addiction.   
  
Being 19 with absolutely no idea what to do with his life wasn't fun, all his friends has glided into new lives, most going to uni in different parts of the country, and he was just stuck. His parents weren't fussed. Actually, he was glad he had such supportive parents, they knew his problem and they didn't pester him about going and getting a job or going to uni; he was pretty fortunate. But even the most lovely parents couldn't take the pressures of life off of his shoulders.   
  
It caused sleepless night after sleepless night, and the only thing Phil could do was go out and get a caffeine boost to ready him for the next day. He knew he looked like shit, he knew that the shadows under his eyes contrasted his pale skin so much that he looked ghostly, but he couldn't do a thing to change it. People commented about how bad he was looking, so he kept to going out at night.   
  
There was rain lining the pavement on the way to the coffee house, but it didn't prevent Phil from making his way there. It had been shut for a few days as it needed more staff - Phil wouldn't be able to keep his composure around all the coffee so it was pointless him applying - and it was open again that night. Whoever was working was probably going to be moody, not that that was an issue for Phil, he never cared.   
  
To his surprise, the worker was about his age. The boy had curly brown hair; a prominent dimple on his cheek; and deep brown eyes, he was staring into space and didn't notice Phil standing in the doorway with rain dripping off of him until the door shut. The click seemed to bring him to life, he shot upright and looked directly at Phil.   
  
"Hi! We don't usually get people in at this time, what brings you here?"   
"I just needed some coffee." Phil held out a £5 note and the boy pushed his hand back.  
"It's on me. Are you okay?" He asked, eyes all over Phil as if he was trying to pick him apart.   
"I'm good, can I get an Americano please?"   
  
The boy didn't say anything else for a bit, he just shuffled over to the huge coffee machine and began making the drink. He had his back to Phil when he spoke next, "You don't seem okay. If you were, you wouldn't have come out in this." And as if on cue, a lighting bolt struck somewhere in the distance.   
  
"I'm Daniel, by the way. Everyone just calls me Dan." He smiled when handing over the mug of coffee, and something sparked inside of Phil.   
"I'm Phil."   
  
It was quite awkward, but what else could he have said? Phil nodded and took the mug of coffee to a booth near the window, he knew Dan was looking over at him. Something inside him wanted to gulp the coffee down and run for it, but when he noticed Dan staring into space again his heart skipped a beat slightly. Phil had never really fell in love before, and he told himself this isn't the time for it. Dan didn't even know him.   
  
It took Phil 45 minutes to finish his coffee and stand up, Dan was back to staring into space and tapping his nails on the counter. They weren't exactly short, but not long either, and they made a nice sound when they tapped on the black marble. Phil wondered what he was thinking about, and whether he was aware of his surroundings. Choosing not to disturb Dan, Phil stretched and left, leaving his mug on the table.   
  
When he briefly looked back inside, he saw Dan's bright eyes looking out at him, then he saw Dan giving a little wave. He nodded, then looked at the floor and went home, his family would all be tucked up in bed and wouldn't even care that he'd have gone out. Actually, they seemed to care less and less with each passing day.   
  
Phil collapsed into bed, hands shaking from the caffeine surge in his veins, and for the first time in forever he cried.   
  
He cried for his childhood, for his lost friends. He cried for his life, and lack of a plan. He cried because he was keeping so much of himself a secret from his family. The butterflies he felt when he was looking into the dammed eyes of the coffee shop worker, he never once got when he looked at a woman. Phil hated the shame, eventhough he knew that it was just a thing some people felt - he just wondered why it had to be him. His parents and brother thought they knew him inside out and upside down, but they talked about him getting a girlfriend when he joined them at the dinner table. Phil couldn't admit that it was never going to happen, not even to himself.  
  
Unknowingly, he dropped off to sleep in the early hours of the morning.

* * *

When he woke up it was nearly 10am, his parents had gone to work and it left him all alone. His eyes were sticky with unwiped tears and his head was clouded with a steady ache - whether that was from sleeping too much, exhaustion, or crying, he wasn't quiet sure. His curtains casted a green glow around his room with the sunlight behind them, there was a layer of dust on the rail and Phil couldn't remember the last time he opened his curtains. He didn't want the world to see him. He knew what everyone thought of him: a lonely, sad, childish 19 year old with no aspirations or want to stand on his own two feet. Although it looked that way, it wasn't like that at all. Phil was struggling. The world seemed too fast paced and it scared him, his friends had been so excited to leave and go off to university, and he had no idea what he wanted with his life. Every time he looked at university courses, they were overwhelmingly difficult to navigate and there were so many options. Asking for help scared him too. So Phil became caught up in a predicament. He wasn't lazy, just scared.

* * *

When his family started to arrive home at 6 PM, Phil had already eaten a stale slice of bread (no one had been to the supermarket yet, it was all he had) and some left over pizza so that he wouldn't have to socialise with anyone.  
His mum arrived home first, she was on the phone to someone and Phil strained his ears to hear what she said.   
  
"Yes Karen, I know I need to make him pay rent... He's my son, I don't want to turn him away!"

He tensed up. Karen was his friend, Anna's, mum. Anna had gone off to study physiotherapy at uni, she hoped Phil would follow her and study English Language as he always wanted to. He'd lied to her and said he applied but he didn't get in. In actual fact, he didn't even apply - just photoshopped the letter Anna had sent a photo of acknowledging her application. Forging the rejection letter was too hard, so Phil pretended that he'd ripped it up out of pure anger and horrific shame. That's what caused Anna to come with bags of chocolates and sweets, coupled up with a few rental DVDs. Guilt ate Phil alive as he curled up on his bed with Anna, her eyes glued to the movie _'Love, Simon'_ as it played on TV. It would've been the perfect time to come out to her, but he missed it. That night, Anna left none the wiser.

 "Karen, leave it. Phil is loved here, job or no job, so drop the subject already." Phil was snapped out of his nostalgia to hear his mum abruptly put the phone down on her friend. She sighed after, and Phil swallowed his fear to go and see her. It had been a while since they'd spoken.

* * *

 

"Mum?" He put his head around the door frame, tentatively checking if she was there.  
"Hello sweetie, are you okay?"   
  
Phil wanted to say no. He wanted to break down and cry to his mum about all that had happened in his mind, that he couldn't get out of an ever growing hole he was digging himself into.  
  
"Yeah, I'm good. Are you?"  
  
Idiot.   
  
"Of course. You didn't hear me on the phone did you? Oh Philly I'm so sorry, you know what she's like! Anna always used to complain about her when she visited and I can really see why. You're my son and I'm not forcing you to do anything in this state."  
"I know mum, I'm trying, I'm sorry."  
"I know you are, I'm here for you. I know you're going through some stuff right now, but I'm your mum and I'll support you no matter what."  
"Thanks mum..."  
  
It drifted into silence with neither of them knowing what to do next. Phil just gave a smile, nodded, then headed off back to his room. It was tiring to be around people, but it wasn't tiring to be around the boy from the coffee shop. Not that they had really met properly, and it was probably the caffeine surging through his veins. 

* * *

Yet again, it was midnight and Phil couldn't switch his mind off. Why didn't he tell him own mother? He wanted to tell her that he was gay, and that he had no clue what he was doing with his life. She'd understand. His brother understood that Phil was gay, he just happen to look on his phone and saw a gallery of shirtless men - it made for an awkward conversation, Phil tried to attack Martyn to get him off of the subject. After they'd spoken, and Phil was all cried out, his brother hugged him close and reassured that he'd always be supportive. 

Then, Phil got onto another train of thought. The coffee shop boy. 

It wasn't a decision, more of an impulse, but he pulled a grey hoodie over his bare chest and left his tartan pyjama bottoms on to go and get himself some coffee. He didn't really want it, but Daniel would hopefully be working and it'd be a familiar face. All he wanted was a familiar face. He was sure. 

* * *

The click of the door was partnered with a bell as Phil walked in, but he barely noticed it as he saw Daniel with a tear streaked face. 

"Dan? Why are you crying?" 

The professional nature of him was gone, he just stood behind the counter with his body shaking and heaving occasionally. He looked shockingly different to how Phil met him the night before; the boy who looked like such a dreamer had been torn down and stomped on until he was a crumpled heap on the floor. It really was the dramatic. 

"Hey, hey, it's okay." Phil bypassed the counter and went to the gap that acted as a door for the baristas, "I'm here." It wasn't a usual occurrence for Phil to initiate a hug between him and anyone, but an instinct took over and made him wrap his arms around Dan. When he felt Dan relax against his chest it was like they were naturally fitting together. 

"My family... I told them..." His voice was edged with pain, it was raspy and croaky all at once, "I told them that I like... like boys and girls. And they hate me. I hate me."  
"Is there anything else?"   
"Too much... For one, I love a guy who'd never give me the second glance."  
"Let's go have a seat."

Phil let Daniel talk, and cry, but he'd worn himself out after an hour.   
"I'm really tired..." His voice trailed as his head lulled forward slightly.  
"Get some sleep, I'll man the fort." Phil gave a smile and patted Dan's curls as he passed by - they were as soft as he dreamed they would be, giving under the pads of his fingers.

 He didn't account for how difficult the coffee machine looked to work, it was red and spanned the length of an entire work surface, 4 tubes stuck out of the front and there was a grid to catch the waste underneath it all. A white, stained towel was folded neatly next to it and it clearly hadn't been used for the night. There was a poster lying on the stool that the baristas would sit at in slow times during the days. _'Night workers wanted, apply now!'_

Phil looked up at Daniel, he was sleeping sweetly on the brown loveseat with his feet tucked underneath a cream cushion. His chest rose and fell rhythmically and his lips were set in a little smile. He looked cute. Kind of. Kind of very cute. To work alongside him would be absolutely amazing, it'd be like a dream come true. That dream was within touching distance, it really really was.

To see if the machines worked easily, Phil fixed him and Dan a coffee, just like he'd seen the baristas do it time and time again. He didn't plan for the steaming pipe to be so loud, so he cringed as it made a noise and jolted Dan awake.   
"Phil?" He rubbed his eyes to help him wake up more.   
"Sorry, I just wanted to see if I could do it."  
That made Dan sit upright quickly and grin at Phil - contradictory to his prior state.  
"You're thinking of applying here?! Oh, please!"   
"You think we'd work the same shifts?"  
"Yes! I know!"  
  
Within moments, Dan was next to Phil showing him how the machines worked and what each different drink needed. He grabbed the canister of squirty cream and used it on Phil's head, creating a swirl on his black hair. Phil let out a high pitched sound as it was happening, shaking chocolate powder over his uniform to try at deter Dan from messing up his hair even more.   
  
"Get off of me!" Phil yelled, trying to run from Dan, who had a firm grip on his arm and his hand in Phil's hair. "Stop rubbing it in!" They were both giggling and stumbling around, tripping over each others feet as they moved. Phil; he was actually happy, even so far as elated, in that moment.

* * *

As Phil walked Dan home, having waited until his shift had finished, it began to drizzle with rain. Dan took his apron from around his waist and held it up, holding one side of it over Phil's head and the other above his own until Phil took hold of the one side.   
"Soon, I won't have to do this, you'll have your own apron." Dan was grinning at Phil, the usually light morning was grey and gloomy so there was no one to hear him say it. "I'll put in a good word for you, obviously."   
"I'll call at 8, don't underestimate me." Phil returned his smile, it had been a while since he'd had such a good time with someone.   
"Shouldn't you get some sleep? You've been with me all night."  
"I don't sleep much."  
"Why?"  
"I'm sorry I better be going."  
  
It was blunt, but Phil panicked. He was a mess and Dan was never going to find out. Neither was he going to find out that Phil had fallen for him. Complicated, hurt and frightened, Phil wasn't much more than that in his eyes. Dan would run a mile if he saw the real Phil, but he was the best person Phil had ever met and he didn't to lose him. He felt slightly pathetic - he barely knew Dan yet he had become so attached, yet Phil felt Dan had a secret too. With time, maybe he'd know.   
There was a delightful surprise in Phil's pocket, Dan had scribbled down his phone number on a napkin while he was in the toilet, when they were playing he'd slipped it into the back pocket of Phil's jeans. Dan thought he was being sly, getting his hand pressed on Phil's ass, even if it was through fabric and paper, it still counted. Obviously.  
  
  
When he got home, Phil took his phone out of the back pocket of his jeans and heard a crinkling sound as he brought it out. He pulled a face, hoping it was nothing important, and took it out. Scanning over the napkin in his hand, a smile came over Phil. "Silly boy." He mused, then he sat down on his bed, taking his phone and adding the number to his contacts. There was one question Phil had: what did this mean?  
  
Just a few streets away, Dan flopped onto his duvet and let out a huge sigh. He kept checking his phone to see if Phil had possibly sent him a message, he even said he wouldn't be sleeping. He contemplated staying up to hear from his new friend, but sleep was dragging at his eyelids and shadowing him. 

When morning came, Dan woke up to a message from Phil:  _Nice one, leaving your number in my pocket :p I hope this doesn't wake you up.._    
It made him smile, Phil was an awkward guy and that was quite endearing. He looked over at his alarm clock, it read 7:37 and the message had been sent at 5:59. It made Dan feel a little bit guilty, Phil was probably scared of him not replying.   
 _I was too dead for u to ever wake me up. I hope ur sleepin, wait, I hope ur calling my manager._  
Their typing styles were quite different, Dan used more text-talk while Phil was much more refined. The reply came in within an instant.  
Phil:  _It's not 8 yet! Sorry I ran off yesterday, things are just difficult.  
_ Dan:  _Do u wanna talk? I'm on shift tonight, or u can come over, no one's here. or stay for a while, my family are gone for a week.  
  
  
_ When he pressed send, Dan instantly regretted it. Asking Phil to stay over was too eager, he'd just met the man and he had an awfully big crush on him. It was a bad idea. Phil wouldn't ever have eyes for Dan, he probably thought he was a stupid young kid who'd clung to him while he tried to get some coffee.   
  
Phil:  _I'd love to stay at yours.. When do you want me to come over?_

* * *

 

An hour later, Phil was packing his backpack full of clothes and his toiletries for a few days. He was smiling to himself for the first time in forever, and it wasn't forced either. He was genuinely happy.   
There was a harsh knock on the door. "Come in!" Phil called, his voice bright for once.   
"Hey Ph- Wait, what's going on?" It was his dad, his eyes were round as he looked at the rolled up clothes he was packing. "Are you leaving?"  
"I'm just going to stay with a friend for a few days, he lives a few streets away."   
"Have I met him? You never said."  
"No dad. Neither has mum, but he's just a friend."  
"Just a friend, eh?" It made Phil look at his dad, he was leaning up the door frame with his arms crossed. "Sure."  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
"Karen told me that Anna knows something about you. And other men."  
  
Time froze. Anna wouldn't have done it maliciously, Phil knew her mum would often check her phone, so that's how Karen found out.   
  
"Let me leave." Phil said, his voice low, head bowed, as he grabbed his backpack off his bed. "I'll talk to mum later,"  
"Not so fast. You need to talk to her now. Shes in a state."   
"I don't really care, just let me go." It was a lie, Phil really did care about his mum, he was just in a sheer frantic state.   
  
And that was when his mum appeared behind his dad.   
  
"Is it true Phil?" She pressed.  
"Yes. Now, I really need to go, Dan's waiting."  
"Who's Dan?" Great. He'd dropped himself in it with no easy way of getting out. Apart from one.  
"He's a coworker. Okay? He lives by the place, so he's showing me the ropes. I'm doing the night shifts, so to save me coming all the way back here he's letting me stay on his couch. So please, let me fucking leave." He pushed between his parents and jogged down the stairs, getting out the door quicker than he's ever done before. 

At least he had Dan. 


End file.
